In 4 months from today, I will be walking across a stage in front of thousands of people to receive my B.S. degree in Accounting. I know, right? I can’t believe it either. It just doesn’t feel like I’ve been in college for almost 4 years. They always tell you to enjoy it while you can because it goes by so fast, but I didn’t believe them. But it’s so true. It goes by SO fast, and now that I feel like time is running out, I’ve started thinking about all of the things that I wish I could have done. Have I had any impact at all? I wish I had more time because I don’t feel ready. I don’t feel like I’m ready to leave school, part from my friends, and enter the “real world”.
The “real world”. Whoa. I have always had a problem with trying something new. I guess you could say that I’m fearful. What if I fail? What if I’m not as good as I thought? What if I don’t measure up? Failure has a tendency to scare me. A lot. And because of this fear, I could miss out on many opportunities to find joy and happiness.
I remember going to the local carnival when I was 4 or 5 years old. My brother wanted to ride the little dragon roller coaster...you know the one: the front has a giant scary dragon head, the dragon tail is the caboose, and it just goes in around in a small circle. There’s not much to the ride, just some minor turbulence that may require a quick visit with a chiropractor. I didn’t want to go near the thing, much less on it, but my parents wanted me to ride it. I was so scared. I cried, screamed, and embarrassed my parents (yesss) all in a matter of seconds. [Now, I need to inform you that I most definitely wasn’t the child that screamed and cried when I didn’t get my way (you know, like the annoying brats at Walmart), however, when it came to something that scared me, I became pretty vocal.] Nevertheless, my parents made me ride the thing AND I LOVED IT! They couldn’t keep me off of it! I had to ride again and again and again! From then on, I couldn’t wait for the carnival to come to town so that I could ride my favorite ride...the little dragon roller coaster.
From riding horses to singing my first solo, a small “push” was required for me to attempt such things. I’m thankful that my parents made me do some things that I was too afraid to try because I thought I would fail. I don’t like the unknown. And if I’m looking at something for the first time, chances are that I’m going to observe and analyze every angle or outcome before I just jump into something, which can be a good thing...sometimes. Sometimes, it’s a hindrance.
But honestly, the real problem lies not in failure itself, but in my interpretation of the definition of success. Success is not the absence of failure. If success is solely based on one’s performance or achievement, then they can only be “successful” to the extent of their own abilities. However, I have come to realize that success should not be based in ability, but in identity. As sons and daughters of the Most High, who are loved and cherished by Him, we are designed with purpose. And because we are loved by God and we love Him in return, we are successful. Simple as that.
Can you imagine how you would respond in a new experience if you entered it already knowing that you were successful? Would that change anything for you? It sure has for me. Failure is no longer something that I regret or avoid, but rather, it’s become something that I embrace. I learn more through failure than I do success. Failure does not have the power to craft my identity. No matter how many times I fail, I am successful because my Father loves me. Failure and success are co-existent; what matters is the effect that you allow them to have on the way you live your life.
The thing that you must come to realize is that God is not discouraged by your failure. He already knows how often and how badly you are going to fail throughout your lifetime. But He’s not going anywhere. There is nothing that you can do to make Him stop loving you. (Romans 8:38-39) But you must trust Him. Trust what He’s doing and trust when and where He calls you. One thing I know for sure: GOD WILL NEVER FAIL YOU. He can’t. And His plans for your life are better than you could ever dream. (Ephesians 3:20)
Life is too short to live aimlessly. Confront your fears and embrace your purpose.
Be obnoxious.
Breathe passion.
Live fearlessly.
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