You know, it’s so easy for me to write about God’s goodness when I’m in the middle of it. And talking about trusting God is great when life is easy, but when it’s hard, I suddenly lose my words. It becomes difficult, but sometimes, you just need to talk about it, even if it doesn't sound right.
Today, I got a letter in the mail from one of the corporations with which I interviewed for a summer accounting internship. Needless to say, I didn’t get the position and I’m not a happy camper. This is the 3rd intern position from which I have been denied access. I am not upset or hurt, just plain angry. I can’t understand why I’m not getting anything. I have a strong resume, lots of work experience, a well developed work ethic, and I have worked my butt off for my GPA. I am not a cocky or conceited person, but, due to God’s blessings and my upbringing, it’s easy to see that I am well qualified.
God, what’s the deal?
Something like this happened my freshman year in college. I saw college as the “land of opportunity”, which it is, but God-given opportunities have a specific time, place, and reason. College had many of the things that my heart has desired for so long: worship missions, music groups, and lots of leadership positions. I tried out/auditioned/applied for everything...and I didn’t get placed in any of them. I was heartbroken. Why would God flash so many opportunities in front of my face just to let them vanish when I blinked? I couldn’t understand what God was doing. At the same time, God gave me a picture, but of course, I had no idea what it meant.
This was the picture: I was at a party or reception of some kind. A very classy reception. All the guys were wearing tuxedoes and the girls were wearing formal gowns. I was standing all by myself near a table at the back of the room. My dad (which wasn’t really my dad, but in the picture, he was) was off talking with some handsome young man. They both started walking over to me and once my father was standing to my left, and said “Here, let me introduce you to my daughter.” and he gently ushered the young man to stand directly in front of me. End of picture.
I thought that this picture meant that I was getting a boyfriend, but I was wrong. It wasn’t until March that the meaning became apparent and I will never forget the feeling that came over me. I had just finished having an evening out with my parents. My dad dropped my mom off at the hotel and then took me back to the dorm. I was sitting in my dad’s car in lower lot, crying, talking about all that was going on in my life and I randomly told my dad about the picture. As soon as I finished telling him, it clicked.
God is faithful. I love that sometimes He recalls to my mind something that He’s done or said earlier in my life.
God was telling me that I needed to wait until He introduced me to what He wants me to do, and it’s still true for today. He knows my heart and the dreams that He’s given me, but more importantly, He knows His plans for my life; they all will come together in His time. Is He telling me to sit still and do nothing? Of course not. God is bring it to me, but I still have to go to the party. I’m on the look out, watching for what God is going to do, listening for the invitation, searching for the opportunity that holds the introduction.
This isn’t over.
So, God, here I am again, without direction, without plans. Even though I don’t see what’s up ahead and I don’t know where You’re leading me, I choose to trust You. My life is in Your hands. Give me patience and peace in the midst of uncertainty. Prepare me for the introduction.
Perfect!!!
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