Yes. It’s true. I’m a sucker for romance. To clarify, I hate the romance in movies that is so fake and far fetched and has the same plot and the ending that is so routine. In fact, I prefer real-life romance. My grandparents portray this like no other. They have been married for 51 years, but by the way they gaze into each other’s eyes, you’d think that they were seeing each other for the first time. Their story isn’t all that impressive, in fact, it’s very similar to so many cliched movies: college cheerleader falls in love with college football player, they get married, and they live happily ever after. Are they happy? Yes. Was it always happy? No. They’ve had more hardships than I could possibly know or understand. They take it one day at a time, hardship and happiness. But they’re taking it for “ever after”.
Over Christmas break, my grandma started asking me so many questions about school and life and the life-long friends that I’m making. Her favorite question to ask me was “So, do you have a boyfriend?” She asked me that question at least 4 times, and when I said no, for the 4th time, she rephrased it and asked “Are you meeting a lot of nice young men?” and yet again, “Do you have anyone that you are interested in?” My grandma isn’t one to pry into my love life, or lack thereof, so I was kinda taken aback by her questions. I’ve never heard these inquiries come from her mouth. I think that as I am her eldest granddaughter and I have yet to actually “date” someone, she’s getting a little concerned.
I don’t know what it’s like to “fall in love”. For that matter, I don’t know what it’s like to be “in a relationship”. It’s not that I don’t want a relationship, because I really really do. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a relationship so badly. I long for that companionship and commitment. I don’t feel that I need a man to “fulfill” me, as I know who I am through Jesus Christ and all that I am is fulfilled in Him, by Him, and for Him.
My relationship with Jesus Christ is the most important thing to me. It’s the #1 thing in my life. It IS my life. And you know what? I’m satisfied. God’s love is enough for me. Yes, I want to get married. Yes, I want to work with my husband, side-by-side in the purpose for which God has prepared us. And someday, I will meet him. But my relationship with Christ won’t ever change. No relationship will ever compare to ours. Song of Solomon 6:3 “I am my beloveds and he is mine.”
God is protecting my heart. He is holding it unto Himself. He is a jealous God. He is jealous for me. If only I could be as jealous for Him as He is for me. Revelations 2:4 says “yet I hold this against you: you have forsaken the love you had at first.” God, if I have ever forsaken You, forgive me! You are my first Love. No one else can love You like I love You. I won’t love anyone else as much as I love You. I can’t. Hold me. Protect me.
My desire for a relationship grows with each passing day, but at the same time, my love for God grows and my commitment to Him grows stronger, and His love and peace give me the patience to wait and to trust. In everything, God first.
Matthew 6:33 “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.”
No worries, Grandma. I’ll get my “ever after” soon enough :)
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