Ephesians 2:1-10

Have you ever felt inadequate? Have you ever felt that no matter how hard you tried, you could never measure up to current expectations? You could never meet the standard? I know I sure have. It’s a feeling most unsettling. It feels like every move you make is dripping in utter disappointment. And you start to view yourself as a failure. You begin to think “Why would God love me? Can’t He see what I’ve done? It’s hopeless. I’m hopeless.” And you  know what? You’re right. On your own, you can’t do anything. 

But that’s the beauty of grace! It doesn’t matter that we aren’t perfect! God’s grace isn’t dependent upon what we do or what we don’t do. The whole beginning of the 2nd chapter of Ephesians is about us being dead and full of sin, but that while we were still dead, He gave us life! Look at verse 5: “It is only by God’s special favor that you have been saved.” Yes, God knows who you are and who’ve you been. He knows ALL of the things that you’ve done and ever will do. YET HE STILL LOVES YOU!!! His love never changes. 

Paul goes further to say in verses 8-9: “God saved you by his special favor when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast.” Hmmm...See? You can’t do anything. Your salvation isn’t a result of how good you are or how many times you pray or how you helped that old lady across the street. God gives His grace freely, unrestricted.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the routine of Christianity. It’s so easy to get distracted and eventually fall into the mentality of “grace by works.” Think about the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10). Martha was so concerned with the details that she missed out on the relationship with Jesus. Don’t you see? God doesn’t want you to follow a list of things that you “have” do to for Him because it’s not about your good works; He wants to have a relationship with you. He is after your heart. 

Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s masterpiece.” You are valuable! God favors you!! He delights in you! And He wants to pour into your life and satisfy your every desire. Abide in His presence and let Him show you Who He really is! This life is not about us. It’s not about what we can get out of God. It’s about God’s uninhibited grace and extravagant love! It’s only through the grace and love of God that we find our worth. 

"All you need is love...Do Do do-do-do"

Yes. It’s true. I’m a sucker for romance. To clarify, I hate the romance in movies that is so fake and far fetched and has the same plot and the ending that is so routine. In fact, I prefer real-life romance. My grandparents portray this like no other. They have been married for 51 years, but by the way they gaze into each other’s eyes, you’d think that they were seeing each other for the first time. Their story isn’t all that impressive, in fact, it’s very similar to so many cliched movies: college cheerleader falls in love with college football player, they get married, and they live happily ever after. Are they happy? Yes. Was it always happy? No. They’ve had more hardships than I could possibly know or understand. They take it one day at a time, hardship and happiness. But they’re taking it for “ever after”.

Over Christmas break, my grandma started asking me so many questions about school and life and the life-long friends that I’m making. Her favorite question to ask me was “So, do you have a boyfriend?” She asked me that question at least 4 times, and when I said no, for the 4th time, she rephrased it and asked “Are you meeting a lot of nice young men?” and yet again, “Do you have anyone that you are interested in?” My grandma isn’t one to pry into my love life, or lack thereof, so I was kinda taken aback by her questions. I’ve never heard these inquiries come from her mouth. I think that as I am her eldest granddaughter and I have yet to actually “date” someone, she’s getting a little concerned.

I don’t know what it’s like to “fall in love”. For that matter, I don’t know what it’s like to be “in a relationship”. It’s not that I don’t want a relationship, because I really really do. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a relationship so badly. I long for that companionship and commitment. I don’t feel that I need a man to “fulfill” me, as I know who I am through Jesus Christ and all that I am is fulfilled in Him, by Him, and for Him.

My relationship with Jesus Christ is the most important thing to me. It’s the #1 thing in my life. It IS my life. And you know what? I’m satisfied. God’s love is enough for me. Yes, I want to get married. Yes, I want to work with my husband, side-by-side in the purpose for which God has prepared us. And someday, I will meet him. But my relationship with Christ won’t ever change. No relationship will ever compare to ours. Song of Solomon 6:3 “I am my beloveds and he is mine.”

God is protecting my heart. He is holding it unto Himself. He is a jealous God. He is jealous for me. If only I could be as jealous for Him as He is for me. Revelations 2:4 says “yet I hold this against you: you have forsaken the love you had at first.” God, if I have ever forsaken You, forgive me! You are my first Love. No one else can love You like I love You. I won’t love anyone else as much as I love You. I can’t. Hold me. Protect me.

My desire for a relationship grows with each passing day, but at the same time, my love for God grows and my commitment to Him grows stronger, and His love and peace give me the patience to wait and to trust. In everything, God first.

Matthew 6:33 “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.”

No worries, Grandma. I’ll get my “ever after” soon enough :)

One piece at a time

Snow days. My school has had 4 consecutive snow days. The first couple of days were really exciting and the break was much needed. But days 3 and 4? I started getting a little bored. During the 3rd day, I broke out some puzzles, which everyone seemed to enjoy...well...most everyone. You occasionally run into those people who don’t like puzzles. And I completely understand that. Sometimes they are really difficult and yes, even the people that love them can get sick of them. Puzzles are not for the faint of heart. Mark my words.

Why do I love puzzles? I guess its the challenge of it all. Its kinda suspenseful in a way, like you know the goal or the final outcome, but the whole process of getting the picture put together is rather intriguing. And it might get frustrating. I try so many different combinations that give the false appearance of a perfect fit. Some pieces I try 57 times before I find its proper location. And then I lose a puzzle piece and I can’t even finish the puzzle because that one piece has the power to ruin the entire project. Putting together a puzzle isn’t easy. It’s difficult. I mean, if it was easy, where would the challenge be? Where is the intrigue? No, they’re hard and they take time. But the feeling I get when I know that I completed the puzzle, when I see for myself the beautiful masterpiece that was once just a pile of oddly shaped cardboard, for a split second, I feel like I’ve conquered the world.

My life is a puzzle. I have an idea of what the puzzle is supposed to look like, but I don’t have the entire picture. Only God does. I have some of the pieces, but I don’t have all of them. Only God does. And slowly, yet steadily, He gives me pieces of the puzzle, and slowly, and not-so-steadily, the pieces find their place. And slowly, things start to make sense and the picture begins to form.

And you know what? That’s ok. It’s ok not to know the whole picture. People have this idea that you must know everything now so that you can prepare for your future, and that’s great; preparation is good. But how do you know your future? How do you know exactly what you’re going to be doing 13 years from now? James 4:14 declares that you can’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. You have to trust God. God knows the story. God knows your story. He is the Author of your book and the Painter of the picture on your puzzle.

I don’t know everything there is to know about my purpose, but I know without a doubt that I have a purpose. I have a future. Someday, it will be clear to me. Someday, I’ll be able to look back and make sense of what God was doing and why I went through certain times of testing. Someday, I’ll understand the purpose for which God was preparing me. But that’s all someday. When is that? I don’t know. But right now, all I can do is trust God and take it one piece at a time.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11

Puzzles and Life. They’re the same.

The only difference is that God doesn’t lose any of the pieces.