It's just a phone.

I recently bought a new cell phone cover for my Samsung Impression :) I've always wanted a cool cover and I finally found that one that I would call my own. It was a pink cover that had soft rubber on the back of it. It's so nice! I love it! It hides all of the nasty scratches that are on my phone and only reveals what I want it to: a new, perfect, shiny exterior.

A phone with a cover is still a phone. It's the same electrical device that one would use to call or text people. It's purpose hasn't changed. It's function hasn't changed. It's scratches haven't changed...they're just covered up.

Sound like life? I thought so.

Life is about hiding. Everyone hides. Life is like a constant hide and seek game, except you don't ever get found. Life is about being undercover...only the best disguises survive. Do you even know who you really are?

Why can't we be real with people? Why must we cover everything that may seem imperfect?

We're just a scratched phone with a shiny cover. Everyone is scratched. Everybody has been hurt or is hurting. Does anyone care anymore?

I'm done.

These are my scratches.

My Opinion of Onions

Onions. I really hate them. Okay, I don’t hate them, but they definitely bring some discomfort. Onions are just hazardous. If you don’t cut yourself trying to chop them, your eyes will most assuredly start to itch and you’ll instinctively reach up with your hand, that’s been marinated in onion juice, and rub your eye. See? Simply hazardous.

But purpose is very similar to the onion. It’s hazardous. You get hurt, sometimes emotions take their toll, it’s uncomfortable, and if onion juice is in your eyes, there’s confusion and mayhem. However, there are 2 differences between purpose and onions. 1. As layers are peeled back, the sting of onions doesn’t go away, but the sting of life/purpose does. When the layers are being peeled back, it brings clarity and peace. Peel by peel, more of life makes sense and direction becomes clearer. Sure, there’s still some question and some confusion, but there’s a peace in the unknown. 2. I’m not holding the onion of purpose, God is.

Life is funny sometimes. I don’t understand my life or my purpose. For that matter, I don’t fully understand the purpose of life. I feel like I’m walking through life blindly...which isn’t funny at all when you think about it. I feel that the more I try to see and understand, the more confused I get. But sometimes, I’m not supposed to see or understand, sometimes I’m just supposed to trust and wait. I mean, why should I fear the future when God, the Almighty, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, the Alpha and Omega, is holding me in the palm of HIS hands??

Sometimes, I don’t know my next step because God hasn’t introduced me to it yet. I just need to trust in the supremacy and goodness of God. And when the time is right, He will guide me, step by step, peel by peel.

Psalm 27:13

“I will remain confident in this I will see the goodness of the Lord.”

Proverbs 19:20-21

“Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life. You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.”

Step by step.

Peel by peel.

The most dreaded: Writers' Block

How does one even describe it? It’s a complete twist of emotion and knowledge, a connection severed. It’s like that feeling you get when a word is on the tip of your tongue and it’s such a great word that will perfectly describe the current situation, but you just can’t remember it, no matter how hard you try. Or like you’re falling with no net below you, nothing to catch you, you have no support, no foundation. It’s total abandonment. Your head has abandoned you. Your heart has abandoned you. Your voice has abandoned you. It’s been 7 1/2 months and still nothing to show. And with each passing day, the flame of passion, originality, and spunk is slowly suffocating, one spark at a time. It’s frightening. Your voice can’t find your heart and your heart has lost its voice. What do you do? You wait for the reunion, while desperately trying to hold onto the one thing that made you want to write in the first place…your conviction.